“As a manager, we are often faced with the need to have difficult conversations. For me, it’s often been all too easy to fall into my “comfort zone” of obtaining the facts and making a decision. Recently, when faced with the need to facilitate a conversation between an employee and their manager, I used the Lead with Conversations® process. The conversation was difficult! There was a lot of anger, frustration, resentment, and fear that had been built up.
However, in taking the time to truly work through the conversation – the outcome was better than I could have imagined. They indicated they both appreciated the approach and were fully satisfied with where they were in the relationship and their readiness to move forward and past the conflict. The use of this process helped the participants – but, it helped me too! It allowed me to grow in my own role by trying something I had not been accustomed to trying before.”
“I very much appreciated the training we received last week. I also want to share an experience with you that I had this morning as I tried to put some of the methods in practice!
Friday during the afternoon session of of training I received several emails from a disgruntled staff member. He was upset about a directive which has been in place for several years and after a discussion with his supervisor he was not going to follow it. I arranged for us to have a chat on Monday morning. This staff member has been a very solid employee but throughout this year has become increasingly disgruntled.
Over the weekend I had two things going through my head. "Presume positive intent" and "What experience do I want him to have when we meet?". I frankly didn't look forward to the conversation.
This morning he met me bright and early. We discussed the facts which were present. In this case it was mainly the directive on how we accept offender files. I then invited him to tell me what his concerns with the directive where. After we explored them for just a couple of minutes I could tell he firmly believed the "old way" of doing things was better but he did mention on his own a possible reason for why the decision was made.
I pointed out he had given one reason why the decision was made and asked him what other reasons for the decision may have existed. He said he had no idea. I asked him if he was interested in hearing what my understanding of the reasons were and he said "absolutely!"
We had a short conversation about the reasons. He then looked at me and said "I get it". He told me he doesn't want to be adversarial and hadn't been aware of the directive so it had caught him off guard. He thanked me for taking the time to help him understand it. He still likes the old way better but understands why the current directive is in place and will follow it.
Prior to leaving my office he asked if he could share something else which was not related to this issue. He then proceeded to apologize for not handling an assignment very well earlier this year. I never saw this coming! It was an assignment which ultimately had to be assigned to someone else in order for it to be handled. He said he had thought about it over the summer and throughout the fall and recognizes he could have done better and apologized. I told him the apology was accepted, that it was very much appreciated and that he was a good man for sharing it. I shared it was a frustrating time for us but appreciated that he recognized it and thanked him again for his apology.
I love it when something I learn has immediate benefit!”
"I have worked with J’Lein for more than 10 years. One of the main areas she has supported us - is to have a deeper understanding of how conflicts occur, how conflict can be identified, prevented, protracted and dealt with when it happens. The way the Lead with Conversations® process facilitates conversation toward more understanding, finding common ground, leading to peace and resolving conflicts is remarkable.”
Humans’ natural resistance to change risks creating obstacles during periods of growth or organizational change.
Lead with Conversations®:
The ability to bring together different organizational cultures is a key differentiator between a merger’s success and failure.
The Lead with Conversations® methodology helps to: